Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
