maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
he thought i was a dude.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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