Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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