To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
