Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Randomize
