dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
