i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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