I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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