oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
