I'm drive I can fine osifer
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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