absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
