I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Randomize