my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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