it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
