the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
