I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
So vagazzling was a success
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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