I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
