My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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