you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
