bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
