okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
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At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Panties = found
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