Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
