There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
do nipples grow back?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
