my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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