considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
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