dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
