she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
