I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
