I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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