dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
