We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
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