does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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