That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
