; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
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