brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Boobs speak an international language.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
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