so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
