This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
