I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
