This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
