ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
