omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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