who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
