just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
