is your mom at the bar?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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