We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
