conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize