I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
