the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize