And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Someone shattered a urinal.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
