He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize