she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
