Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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