His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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