$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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