Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
