What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Church boner. Awkwardddd
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize