Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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