I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
