I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize