Well apparently he's into motor boating.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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