just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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