So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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