I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
