So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
