Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Randomize
