see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
